* I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in, she said: Cheque books.
* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
* What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
* My wife thinks “freedom of the press” means no-iron clothes.
* What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
* At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
* A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper. Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper? French: Toilette pepper!
* Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then suddenly Santa fell down in a deep hole. Banta: Are you ok? Santa: Fine thanks! Banta: Did you break anything? Santa: No, there’s nothing down here to break!
* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
* Santa falls in luv with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”
* Q: Why dogs don’t marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
* A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. ‘Anything new at work?’ He replied, ‘No, I’m teaching History.’
* Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
* Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why? Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
* Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence. Student: WoW!
* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
* What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
* My wife thinks “freedom of the press” means no-iron clothes.
* What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
* At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
* A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper. Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper? French: Toilette pepper!
* Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then suddenly Santa fell down in a deep hole. Banta: Are you ok? Santa: Fine thanks! Banta: Did you break anything? Santa: No, there’s nothing down here to break!
* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
* Santa falls in luv with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”
* Q: Why dogs don’t marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
* A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. ‘Anything new at work?’ He replied, ‘No, I’m teaching History.’
* Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
* Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why? Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
* Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence. Student: WoW!
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