You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a candidate at the UPSC (IAS) Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And
because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got
child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has
got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole
body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps
attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed
milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind
generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his
other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making
flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and drying in the sun.
Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the
mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking
and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This
is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled
to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity
forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like
similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is
done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon
he gives hit with it.
The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he
shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the
cow.......
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And
because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got
child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has
got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole
body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps
attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed
milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind
generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his
other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making
flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and drying in the sun.
Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the
mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking
and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This
is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled
to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity
forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like
similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is
done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon
he gives hit with it.
The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he
shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the
cow.......
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